From Fake News - my book

I SAW A FAKE ID AD in the back of a slinky detective magazine, you know the ones with the half-naked hot chick on the front in a torn dress with one boob almost out of the bra, about to be raped and murdered . . . kinda  looking like she's into it?

ANYWAY, I clipped a black & white photo from the little strip of four the machine spat out......mailed it to the address in New York City with a 20 dollar bill, and by God waited for the mailman every day, to intercept the package that would change my life forever......with my official looking Louisiana state resident card...I could buy beer...and drink that beer...like a man who could buy his own beer.

Here's the deal though...I have a baby face now. I didn’t shave till college!...back then...I looked perpetually fourteen.

  

ANYWHO, I when it finally arrived, I thought it looked pretty damn cool, and tastefully authentic...

I GUESS THE OLE BOY working at the Speedy Service didn’t share the same opinion.

I guess that's why he cut it right in half with some big black handled scissors he pulled out from under the register chuckling all the while looking back & forth betwixx me and my little ID card...

RIGHT BEFORE he pointed at the door with his head & told me to "get the fuck out of here"

AVAILABLE ON AMAZON/KINDLE fakenewsthebook by vernon rust

#Vernonrust #memoirs #humor #songwriting 

The Weeds Grow 'round a Tractor...

"The weeds grow ‘round a tractor, like an island in the field

With bird nests on the motor and briars crawlin’ up the wheels

and a windmill watches over . . . a rusty water tank

where hoof-prints stomped a crater where the cattle used to

drink

and the sunlight through the barn-boards, cuts slices in the dust

where bridles hang on bent up nails, that long began to rust

You know, the old home place seems smaller now than then

I smell the neighbor’s fireplace in the wind

Paints’ a peelin’, shutters’ bangin’

Screen door hangin’ by a thread

Poor old oak tree, he’s barely standin’. . .

                                         . . . He don’t even know he’s dead"

From the book 'FAKE NEWS' by Vernon Rust...it's a book of lyrics, memoirs & humor. AVAILABLE on amazon/kindle @ fakenewsthebook by vernon rust